07 July 2005

What is a Lost Butterfly Angel?

The world is an interesting place. Today I awoke to find that the city of London had suffered a terrorist attack. My heart bleeds for those who had to experience this and of course for those who have lost loved ones and friends. Events like this remind me of my own mortality and that myself or someone I care about can be quickly taken away. It helps me to remember to cherish every moment I have with each person I hold dear. Sure this is somewhat cheesy and of course many people say it, but why does it take a tragic event for my ever so thick skull to absorb the truth in it.
The truth. It is one of those things that I have spent most of my adult life looking for yet at the same time running away from. In one of my favorite songs "Miracle" by Michael Tolcher, he says 'Now you can call yourself a genuine truth-seeker, but watch out 'cause it might be found'. I suppose that is kind of how I feel about it. There are some truths I just do not want to face, thus the name LostButterflyAngel. The truth a lot of times is two inches in front of my face but I go about things the hard way to get LOST and not have to face it. The BUTTERFLY is a symbol of freedom from whatever holds me back and ties me down because when I go through whatever situation it may be, no matter how much I want to fight it, I'll come out on the other side better and more beautiful (as a person). The ANGEL is a symbol of freedom from my fears. I have tons of irrational and also true fears. But I think of an angel as having overcome every fear, even the great one of death itself to arise victorious.
You would think with these symbols impressed upon my heart and soul I would be a strong person and deeply believe in what I have sought to become as I walk this earth, but the truth is I am very weak. One of these days I will face my challenges as they come and not run until I have to deal with them. On that day my true transformation will begin and I will be that beautiful Butterfly Angel, wings upturned and FREE.
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