24 July 2005

Got Jokes?

This is all my fault, I made a bad decision but I'm going to bitch about it anyway.
(translation: whining about what is 95% my fault and 5% insensitivity of others)

This is a story from 'A' to 'B' and 'C'

Have you ever noticed some people in your life, dare I call them friends? No the 'f' word is too good at this point but the 'a' word, acquaintances fits them fine. Sometimes you sit around with them taking turns talking about the good and bad things going on in your life. They share some of the hard times that they are going through so why not share some of the hard decisions you are making or things you are going through too?


This will always come back to bite you in the ass. One, they do not know how your mind operates and how you think. Two, you forget that they do not know how your mind works. Bad combination. If you are younger than the people you are talking to, trust me, your problems are going to be funny to them to begin with because they are older and have all this figured out. They want to tell you what they think that they have figured out about you and your situations.

It is at this point that everyone's 'got jokes'. Things that you have to seriously consider are fodder for their jokes. Oh, and it gets even better because they think you are going to do the same things they did or do in the situation. For example:

You are hoping for the opportunity of a relationship with someone. It is rare enough that this occurs. At this point you have just been flirting with the person. There is no real sign it will go any further but you made the mistake of bringing up a name. (do not do this)

Their thinking: So you're gonna get a piece of ass to see if it is worth further pursuing this relationship.

My thinking: It takes a lot for me to consider being in a relationship. I work hard at building a great friendship and give myself emotionally and give as much as I can when I am fortunate enough to be involved. 'IF' something physical develops along the way, it does. I am old-fashioned and I am not going to go jump in the bed with someone after a couple of dates to see if this is even worth my time.

The Difference: To me a great relationship makes anything physical worth the wait. However it may never come up because we may never get that far. (I often eat a bowls of rejection)

Maybe it is my hopeful-wishful thinking that I will share a great relationship with someone. After all this does sound like the stuff of childhood bedtime stories. But I have seen it work for some of my friends, why not me? I am no different from them.

I know that 'B' and 'C' will see this and I hope you understand how hurtful it is when you make light of how I think and what I feel. I still think you are wonderful and do not want to discontinue our rather lively discussions. I have, after all learned a lot from you.

DO NOT, however, get it twisted. My life WILL NOT be your joke. I am today who I have always been. I like a healthy strong bond in my relationships. I am not out for quick fixes or spur of the moment decisions, people get hurt that way. I do not like to hurt anyone.

I hope you are not angry with me. It took me quite a while to figure out why what I was saying was not the same thing I heard coming from you. Then I figured out your point of view and it all made perfect sense. Remember, I respect the things that you tell me without laughing and making light of it. I am just asking for the same level of respect. DONE.
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