05 March 2015

mentors and inadvertent lessons

Two days ago a mentor suggested I share some of my thoughts about current events and issues via this blog. I replied that I didn't think it was a good idea. She pointed to my passion about certain situations as proof that I had something to say. As I thought about it later, my own hesitation gave me pause.

Why was I so tentative? What was I afraid of?

Acceptance is something I long for; it's a topic I've written about a number of times. I keep to myself with certain things because of that. I'm also a reconciler, I want to find common ground to bring opposing sides together. Somewhere in my mind, and in fear, I let all of this become confused. The idea that I cannot share what I think or feel because it may destroy what I'm working toward.

But it won't. It can't.

And until someone is willing to talk about issues openly with a heart for reconciliation, change will always be a far-off, distant goal. That said, I'm going to do this. I'm going to be me, not someone's hoped-for representation of who I should be, just me. Which means I finally had to accept that someone's discomfort with my views isn't my problem. I make it a point to accept people as they are, even when we disagree. If I'm in relationship with someone, all I ask is reciprocity. If not, at least I tried.

So to the mentor who nearly got fired for missing mentor time (jk) and for willingly throwing me to the controversy hounds, you're reinstated. Thank you for challenging me to grow, even when you don't know you're doing it.