31 August 2005

"Words, Words, Words....."

This is a forwarded email from a friend. I was laughing pretty hard and thought I would share the wealth.

Our Crazy English Language

This should appeal to teachers and avid readers. Can you read these correctly the first time?
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? If there is one goose and 2 geese then one moose and 2 meese, right? There is one index but 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite a play and play a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
People, not computers, invented English and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.


A prayer for those affected by hurricane Katrina. God bless and healing and strength to everyone.

29 August 2005

"Friends" - Pt II

Being clueless can be so cute sometimes. Yeah. Right.

"I read your blog. You seem a little ...(sigh) I don't know (pause) unhappy, lonely."
"Ya' think? Nothing gets past you."
"Sarcastic bitch! (laughter) So... are those real people?"
"Love you, too. Yeah, they're real. I didn't want to use names so I chose their professions."
"You know people who do all of those things? Even a rocket scientist?"
"You met the rocket scientist, you just don't remember, it was a long time ago."
"What about the mathematician and mechanical engineer?"

I was talking to the mechanical engineer (may your girlfriend help you)
Some people are idiots. God love them.

26 August 2005

Lost & Found

One night 3 years ago a close friend and I arrived early for a weekly Bible study meeting. We were both extremely tired and decided to nap in the car to pass the 30 minutes. Almost an hour later her cell phone rang. Her husband wanted to know if we were okay and to see if we were lost.

"No honey, we're not lost but apparently we're a bit misplaced."

One day some 12 years ago I was quite a bitter young woman. I had already decided love was for fools and friendship not worth the time and pain. I was fed up to the top of my 5'2" head. No more relationships! Ever!!
After an interesting series of events and being able to see myself for who I really was, I discovered different truths about myself. One came in accepting that my weakness came in admitting that I needed the very friendships I wanted to run away from. With the assistance of new friends and the Lenny Kravitz song "Heaven Help", I came to the startling conclusion that I did not have a lump of coal for my heart. I had a genuine, caring and friendly heart. (Scary to think) To put it simply I was Found.

Twelve years ago I decided to live my life as a committed Christian. I was found. In the light. Saved. However you choose to put it, I was with God. God had always been there but now I was definitely playing for the home team. Found!

Lots of truth comes with found. Lots of change, lots of love, lots of pain. Found! For the first time since I was a small child I was happy. I lived the life of a found soul and tried to find more souls to discover what Found felt like.
That was Found.


Who goes back to lost when Found is so amazing? I did. Two and a half years ago. It's actually easier to be Found when you are lost. Most times you don't really like being lost so when someone can give you directions to get you where you are going you jump on the opportunity.

But when you are misplaced.. you know exactly where you are and you know how to get where you need to be but for some reason or another you cannot seem to pull it together enough to follow your own directions. Sad isn't it.

Good girls get lost in the dark when they are alone, angry and scared. This continues to grow until you are bitter, miserable, cold and fearful. Or at least that's how it feels to me.

24 August 2005


Butterflies do not live long.

Angels exist forever.

The One With the Most "Friends" Loses

the Mathematician - didn't work (still friends)

the Rocket Scientist - didn't work (supposed to be friends)

the Civil Engineer - college friends

the Project Manager - both wanted the other neither would act, friends

the TV Broadcast Producer - never moved passed friends

the Physicist - too immature and just friends

the Mechanical Engineer - looked at me like a little sister

the Banker - You guessed it just friends

the Engineer - thinks I'm NUTS (may not want to be friends)

19 August 2005

Music Tag! - I'm It

In response to Chris' post -

THE RULES: List five songs that you are currently loving. It doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the songs in your blog, then "tag" five other bloggers/friends to see what they're listening to.

Luis Miguel - "Nada es Igual"
  • Nada es Igual

  • The Donnas - "The Gold Medal"

  • The Gold Medal

    Joss Stone - "Security"
  • Mind, Body & Soul

    Shakira - "La Tortura"
  • Fijacion Oral

    Gorillaz - "Feel Good Inc."
  • Demon Days

    I don't have five friends with blogs, that I know of but you two, Addison and Trang it's your turn.

  • Finally a Recipe I Can Follow

    To say I love this is putting it mildly. This is as much me now as it was at that age. Seriously one day I'm going to (de-) evolve into a cartoon character. Yeah, right! I wish.

    12 August 2005

    So You Think I'm Strange

    Emily is lots of fun if... no IF to it. She is just fun. A little dark, a lot of angst and only 13. Ahhh, reminds me of my younger days. My favorite phrase "Get Lost" now has more than one meaning.
    Check out the website 'if you dare...' that way you can say you heard of her before Emily is the next big thing. Even if she's not (but she is) the artwork is neat and the attitude is classic. "GET LOST!"

    05 August 2005

    What's the Big Deal?

    Three Letters: "G-T-A"
    Two Words: "San Andreas"
    One Phrase: "Hot Coffee"
    "Mass Hysteria"

    A bunch of paranoid, frustrated people with nothing better to do than sit back and complain. It's a game. It has a few pornographic scenes. You have to have a cheat code to get to the questionable content. The game came out at the end of last year I think. As recently as a month ago all this surfaces. Come on people. It is not in the main part of the game. All the other GTA games have massive sexual overtones in them and this one causes an uproar. It makes no sense to me. It has a MATURE ESRB rating. Leave it alone. Let it go.

    Did I mention you get to steal and kill? And you get paid for it. Yes it's all in the game. The title GRAND THEFT AUTO. Oh well. It is definitely up to parents to be parents on this one. It's out there. If it were not this game it would be something else. Everyone just needs to get their knickers untwisted and chill. Play games, have fun. (Yeah, it is eay for me to say. No kids!!)