18 April 2017

Worthless Dreams

I hate dreams.

I aged into it. As a child, I loved them. I lived for them. I now know I wasted so much time, head in the clouds, certain the world would change through dedication and hard work.

It hasn't. It refuses.

And so, as many who have gone before me, I find dreams and any semblance thereof,c to be of little value.

Dreams are nightmares waiting to happen.

Dreams are waiting for a seeming eternity and yet "fulfilled" in anti-climaxes.

Dreams are internet trolls pranking us.

Dreams (well fulfilled ones) live in a village I can't find the directions to.

Dreams are debilitating.

Dreams take your breath away and laugh as the sparks of hope that once danced in your eyes flicker out.

Follow your dreams, be brave, step on the edge, fall to a figurative death.

Get better or get bitter, or best yet, stop having dreams and there's nothing to worry about.

F*ck hope and her sister faith.

Dream at your own risk.

18 January 2017

I'm Building My Own Sandbox


I will succeed. I will be happy, healthy, financially stable, debt free, and able to give exceedingly. I will have time to spend with my family and friends.

Not everyone's path is the same. Not everyone's success is similar. Tenacity is important, but one person's drive may not resemble another's.

Our differences in approach to life are as diverse as our external makeup. I've often discounted and disqualified myself because I'm not like the other people I admire who are incredibly successful.

But we all have our own ways.

Life likes to help you along sometimes, forcing you to make a quick choice or by virtue of needing to put food on the table, you're moved into something maybe you wouldn't have chosen.

But I believe in THE DIVINE, not coincidence.

I downplayed the friend who said maybe I was like other geniuses... she said when they didn't fit, they created their own paths. I thought she was being silly. After all, I'm no {insert famous trailblazers name here}.

But later, I asked myself why not? Why couldn't I be like them? Why wouldn't I be like them? I'm not difficult for the fun of it; I'm particular.

I do GOOD work, and when I'm with the right team, it's GREAT work. But as a person who has said for years it's important for me to know the rules so that I know I'm effectively breaking them, I think she might be on to something.

Chaos, disorder, problems... I see it and I solve it. And in my mind if I've done it correctly, you never have to know I was there. Communication is one of the major keys to problem solving. I have a knack for it. This post may be disjointed as all get out, but I usually present polished information - whether verbally delivered or via print. I take pride in that.

Mediation is important to me in an effort to reach reconciliation. That doesn't mean everything is delivered in "acceptable," milquetoast, mamby-pambyisms either. But that desire within me to use communication to reach better conclusions, that's a marketable skill. The ability to assimilate information into viable strategies, yeah people pay "consultants" for that.

As another friend said to me recently, "Don't give all that away for free. Do not be afraid to let people know that's how you earn your living." Or in Aisha terms, "My mind is my moneymaker."

I may be the world's latest bloomer but you will feel the light of my life shine on you at some point, whether you know it or not.

I'm building my own sandbox and the castles therein.