19 September 2006

Sometimes I'm Afraid

At times I am afraid to be me. For the longest time I had painted a mental picture of myself as only being an angry, bitter and hateful soul. I now know that this is not true. I put that face to the world to protect the kind, caring and loving me hoping to avoid the hurts of life but it did not and does not happen that way.

In any case I am angry right now. Very angry about the behavior of some around me and I am scared. I did not want to admit to being angry because I was afraid to go down that path, afraid that I would go and not come back. But in order to truly move past the anger, and be a good friend on all sides, I have to admit it exists in the first place.

Yeah it's true, I'm angry and what I want to do is hate you, talk about you, turn away from you and leave you to face your prison alone. I want to tear you down and wish nothing but the worst of pain and lonliness upon you but I will not do this. I can not do this. I am going to choose to move on. I guess I'm not scared anymore.
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