18 July 2013

fighting the fear of failure, part 3 - my decision

This journey to overcome fear of failure has been interesting and I know it’s not over but I know I turned a corner.

I want to share a realization that is serving as a mental sentinel to check, correct and keep out procrastination and analysis paralysis. I believe we learn greatly from others’ experiences but there is a greater resolve, conviction and strength birthed within after we battle to learn in our personal challenges.

The realization is this: It's okay to give my best all the time, no matter how I feel about the situation or if my best is not good enough.

I often get stuck in the thinking space, “What if I give my best and my best is not good enough? What if I fail?” This thought kept me from giving my all. Rather than disappoint with my best I gave a close effort but it was not the best, so if it fell short the reaction of others would not hurt as much.

I know it’s a silly, immature thought pattern but time after time I performed based on this. And the truth is it did still hurt because I knew it was not my best, I did not want to be rejected and I did not want to be perceived as a failure or not good enough.

But the decision I made is this: I will give my best. If it misses the mark, hopefully I will be corrected so that I can become better reaching a new best. And the part that gave me the most hope is if I give my best and it proves to be my best then I can still receive correction so that I can become better reaching a new best.

Either way I become better, ever changing and growing. I have known for years this is how character change happens but for some reason it had not translated over to the tasks I do as well. When I saw this I was encouraged to realize it is okay for me to not know everything or be perfect.

Failure is not the end of the world although I have been conditioned to believe it is. I have the opportunity to learn and grow, to become more and to help others by what I learn in the process. My decision is to keep going and not give the fear of failure any more of my time effort and ability.
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