20 August 2012

encouraged by me?

Today I found myself being encouraged by myself. A little over a year ago I was praying for a situation in someone else's life. This person was battling sickness in their body and facing surgery. I committed to praying for this person at a set time each day. Many others were doing the same as this is a rather beloved person. In any case one day just after my daily time, I found myself having a hard time concentrating on the work before me. The words and numbers seemed to swim before my very eyes instead of lining up as they should. I could not make sense of the simplest task but instead of being worried I was surprisingly calm.

I could feel and seemingly hear my heartbeat which seemed to have a different cadence than normal. My eyes although intently gazing into the monitor no longer were taking in the data before me and my breathing seemed to flow along with the rhythm of my heart. I was sitting at my desk but I was so far away. Then it began. It was as if I were listening to an old song that was a favorite. I could hear a lyric in my ear and the sound waves carried it along until it crashed into my heart and I realized I had never heard this before.

There was a story unfolding from deep within me and I was so caught up in it I almost lost the opportunity to write it down. I had to come up for air to capture the first few lines of what would become a declaration of war against the things coming against my friend's life. Rather quickly I penned (okay typed) the first four stanzas; it was as if the words bled right out of my fingertips. And once the last words were on the page, I was back at my desk in that moment of time. The data came together and worked seemed interminable because the desire of my heart was to complete this sudden almost melodic chain of thought.

When I arrived home I reviewed the words over and over especially the last stanza. It seemed to float in midair, no quite connected to what was before it fully but also not so dissimilar either. "Where do you belong?" I questioned the phrases and almost expected an answer. I wanted to write this. I felt it all the way through my body. Anytime it would come to mind it really seemed as though my heart would beat in time with the poem. I wondered if the great masters felt the same way in their development stages.

Five days later, I realized it was not disassociation of topics but a simple transition into the next part of the story. The cadence was perfect. I finished it. This work simply titled The Fight was complete and prayerfully ready to encourage its intended recipients. I later learned that it did. I began to share it with others too. My goal with these poems and spoken word pieces is to encourage. Many felt this and helped me back on my path to writing regularly. I have been glad to do so. Writing helps me to deal with everyday life.

So today while facing some challenges of my own I stumbled across a copy of this poem. I specifically chose to print in on a red background with white lettering. I wanted this one to stand out. After all it is a declaration of spiritual fighting words. As I sat there reading the words, almost astonished that they came from my pen, I found myself sitting up straighter and being reminded of the Bible verses that inspired some of the lines. I began to remember who and Whose I am. I "encouraged myself" in the Lord. He has me in everything, even these scary parts of the journey and I no longer have to be afraid. He gave me the courage to fight the battles I always thought would defeat me. I will not fall over defeated because He gave me the greatest victory in His love.
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