14 August 2012

emotional ninja

There are times this "thing" tries to take ahold of me. It's a darkness, a heavy sadness; a voice that longs to separate me and make me feel as though I am all alone. It's familiar to me and as odd as it may sound the familiarity of the sound is a comfort; it is what I've known and what I accepted as truth for so long. But it is not the voice of truth, it is a lie, a hurtful insidious deception. It never shows up overtly announcing its arrival with fanfare; no it is stealthy beginning with a slight nagging of, "I can't believe I..." then growing into "What in the world am I...?""Why can't I ever...?" and before long death is rolling off my tongue, "I'll never... or I'm just {negative comment}"

Well as this "thing" tries to creep in through a shroud of darkness I am shining the light of the Word of God on it, exposing it for what it is - a lie. God tells me that I am precious and honored in His sight and that I am accepted in Him fully. I have no need to strive for acceptance or to think less of myself because of failures in my past. I am repeating these messages of truth to myself, changing what I'm listening to, changing the thing I choose to wear as a cover. This "thing", this emotional ninja, that keeps attempting to sneak in and clothe me with my old thoughts of darkness and remind me of all the ways I've hurt others only wants to distract in order to derail and destroy.

I know I mention this a lot here but that is because this is truly a battle. I have allowed myself for so long to agree with the negative lies and emotions that I must fight with passion and tenacity to believe the truth so that I am thinking and meditating on the truth that I am created in the image of God and that I was restored to that fully by the sacrifice and resurrection of Christ. The life of a Christian is one of vibrant life and power with a sound mind not some weakling that can be easily shaken or moved.

This ninja is skilled,  knows my weak points and knows that when I have a moment where I fail that I am likely to replay it until change my view of who I think I am. But I a reminded in those moments that I am still loved and accepted, that nothing will separate me from the love of God and I choose to strike back with truth in this fight. I guard my heart according to the Word and I only say what He says. I will not fall out on a mat so easily in an attempt to avoid being hit again. No I stand ready with the weapons of warfare He's given me and I will use them, uncommon as they are, to see the victory He has already given me.

Picture Credit: Quiet Yell's Kid Ninja (Scott Monaco and partners)
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