Where It's At

My heart hurts, it is broken, in pieces and I am not feeling balanced or whole. I am not feeling at all needed.

My grandmother is gone. It hurts. There is a big empty whole in my heart that went with her. All I can do is feel it, deal with it and try to go on each moment of each day.

My job ends on September 1 at the airport and at Starbucks, c'mon do you think they really need me? I really feel in the way, useless and ineffective while I am there.

I thought my long wait for my mate was over but it is not. Some force beyond my control thought it would be funny to send Aisha the man of her dreams but left out the all important believing in God thing. So now I'm still waiting, trying to be patient. I'm trying to do what I believe is right and it hurts even more. Oh well, I would rather wait on God than deal with the consequences of my own stupid actions.

I have been watching as many of my family friends go through their own ordeals and rough patches in life lately. Watching the ones I love and care for go through difficult times hurts as much as when I face the pain of my own situations. I am praying for all of you.

So, Aisha, you who claim to believe in God, where is your faith? Don't let your emotions win. Hold out hope...