30 June 2014

the write dream

I made a decision as a kid before life had its way with me. It was my answer to that question adults love to ask, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"I want to be a writer."

I did presentations about it, I thought about it, I learned to love to read. Then I read my favorite authors and poets and read about their lives too. I read a little bit of everything.

I wrote silly stories as a kid and emotionally-charged poems as a teenager. I kept my mind full of story ideas. I dreamed of seeing my name on the spines of books in the library and bookstore- rows and rows of books with my name.

As I grew I allowed life to change me and made a poor decision. I thought becoming a writer was impractical and would be a waste of time. I walked away from it and did not recognize it as my passion. I listened to an inner voice, what I thought was responsibility and reason and tried a different path. I've written much about that here but something wonderful happened in a moment when I was at a low point.

My desire to write was rekindled by a homework assignment, of all things. For a short while I was in ministry school and I wrote my version of a psalm. That simple act released what had been bound deep within me. From that moment in 2010 until now I've worked to rewire my mind to accept that I am made for this and that there is nothing wrong with that.

As noble a thing as it is to pursue studies and careers in the STEM professions, it is not for me. I am an artist and my palette is filled with words.  My creations are not always masterpieces but  the exercise is often a fun endeavor, mixing and matching letters on a blank page. Whether or not others appreciate what is on the canvas, I have to ask questions, I have to create, I have to speak- it's what I was made to do.

I was unfaithful to this but after all these years I'm grateful to finally be content in my pursuit of the write dream.

What makes you smile when you consider it as your work? What would you do even if you weren't paid? I'd like to encourage you to pursue that with your whole heart, no matter what detractors may say. You were made for it- go for it and find your right dream.
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