01 May 2016

We Asked for Better, You Gave Us Bitter


I hoped for better in my lifetime than a regression to the "days of yore." But really, that time is not what most romanticize it for, it's a dangerous, dark and deadly door.

Now, here we are, in the future with a penchant for a past that doesn't exist, except in the minds of creative and deceptive revisionists.

The same who want to tell me that a protest isn't right, that that is not how Americans fight. I'm sorry, I'm sure I didn't hear you right.

This America, founded as the home of the free and land of the brave, made up of people running who, we’re told, didn’t want to be religious slaves. The ones who decided the rule and dare I say, oppression, of a king wasn't really their thing.

This America, taken from the hands of those who owned the lands through deceit and forced migrations, and stipulations that the indigenous are still paying for. You won’t even look at the receipt. Reservations set at a table at which no one should have to eat. The sky was the border until you brought disorder, and now they die bound on set lands.

Heritage and pride, ancestry and thriving lives, in your eyes, reduced to mascots.

This America, where we fight for a corporate logo instead of the people it purports to represent. How terribly indecent, how far our descent into insensitivity. And yet you say to just get over it.

This America, built on the backs of the blacks, forced from homes and brought here through abhorrent means. The families and lives destroyed, the pain of their humanity, traded as they were demeaned to be property.

Demons. Sexually immoral. Lazy. In need of a leader. Too feeble. Weak. ⅗ of a man. Childlike. Unable to speak up for themselves. To be coddled because they are ignorant. And still we pay the bill for these thoughts.

Like the native peoples, referred to as savages. Yet those who did these terrible things flipped through passages of a Bible that says "whosoever will" will be free indeed. Using the name of Jesus to enact the most horrible deeds.

This America, where a messaging strategy brought a thing created called Manifest Destiny, that is revered as the will of God. But it was an excuse used to confuse, to lay claim to what wasn’t yours- and as we still love to do, we came in kicking down doors, taking what’s not ours.

And now, you’re sour. Your greatest fear is that another group will come here and do what you did. You close your borders to those just like you and become hoarders of this so-called liberty that was once extended, but now is to be defended through hatred.

This America, where the poor are the problem. Where we laugh at the uneducated as we take their books and close their schools. We point at them on TV and refer to them as fools. We claim to be pro-life but let families starve with no regard for their hardship. We regale stories of grandads working hard, forgetting the subsidies that helped them to charge forward.

Programs of government were OK back in the day when the benefit went only to you. But now we talk about “hand outs” and “free stuff” as if no one has the guts to put in a full day’s work. You say, “If only the poor weren’t so lazy,” yet that’s obviously crazy when they’re balancing a job or two, and still can’t do what’s basic.

“Get an education!” But it’s hard to get one when charters are the new destination for segregation keeping the “separate but equal” lie alive. Here take this loan but don’t bemoan the 200% interest at which you must pay it back. And here they are, the educated and poor, living in lack.

Or what of those who work trades? Whose work was sent away, in the name of corporate greed, but we like to call by it’s acceptable name, profitability. We blame technology for the end of skilled labor but don’t talk about overseas sweatshops filled with penny-a-day wagers.

We blame the poor, on whom we shut the door and give low ceilings and slap them in the face when they come appealing for more. We take their chances for greatness in the name of morality and tell them to bootstrap their reality and that it will all be OK.

This America, where we like abstractions of the truth and distractions from the proof our own guilt. This truly wonderful place built with slave labor, poor families, immigrants and the indigenous so that our own tycoons could get rich. Then even richer and sell us a picture of what could be, if it weren’t for the “other guy” standing next to me; creating a dichotomy of us versus them, where we fight, only for the ones with no skin in, to win.

This America, where coded language is used to assuage guilt and incite hate. Turning brother against brother, each of us against one another, but we’re to believe in the beneficence of an oppressor, that has been the distressor since our story began.

Blame me, tell me I’m the problem. Yet I was born to solve them, to dismantle systems of destruction. Tell me, I’m the one who’s sedated, lulled to sleep by the lies of the “liberal media.” Who is always to blame when they shine light on the games you play. The check to your unbalance, only true when they agree with you. But the same media, guilty of being your tool to spread lies that defy the humanity of the “minority.”

And now, you’ll say I’m un-American and shame me for reading through history and revealing the artistry of your well-crafted lies. You tell me to, “Shut up!” because you despise the tune of my song. You say that I’m complaining, but, in truth, I love my home. Tears at “Oh say can you see?” But for me, I can see. I know my freedom isn’t free. Far too many paid a hefty price for me. No, not ungrateful; tired. Too much blood watering seeds sown in the hopes of a better future.

Better. My grandmother worked hard for better. My mother integrated schools for better. My sister and I live to bring better. Yet today, you’ve shown me that in this America, swallowing a bitter pill of recognition and repentance is not an option.

You're bitter that the “old ways” aren’t good enough. Bitter, that you cannot say and do what generations taught you was cool. Bitter because things got better for more than just you.

You're bitter that you’re not better than all the rest. Bitter that your lies must be laid to rest. Bitter that we won’t rest until better has come through. Better will be better for you, too.

Now come on, we’ve all got work to do.

For a while it may be bittersweet, but the fight will only be complete when you dismantle the inferior systems of supremacy. Or you can choose to stay bitter. But that’s not the route for me. I am moving on to better, because I refuse to accept defeat.

© 2016 Aisha Nichole Willis

24 December 2015

Control

wikimedia commons
Mankind has a control problem. Man wants to be in control all of the time. Although man once controlled it all, we fell. We only had one rule to obey but we didn't, and though we maintain dominion it's not quite the same.

Now here we stand confusing said dominion with domination, influence with manipulation, and conversion with control. In our quest for control we are even foolish enough to attempt to control God. We put Him in a pretty box with a bow and serve Him up with an understanding called religion.

For 400 years from Malachi until John the Baptist religion continued to perform and increase in form and feature instead of wisdom and stature. The Spirit was not attending as He had previously yet business continued as usual. Religion.

How many suffered at the hands of the religious leaders? How many could not reach mythical plateaus of perfection attempting to not only follow Levitical Law but the additional laws of Judaism? All packaged with a bow called Yahew, yet He Himself was not wrapped within?

And then, in due time, a Son came. He was the greatest King, yet He had humble beginnings. His legitimacy questioned from birth. His mission difficult, yet fulfilled masterfully. His followers selected, taught, loved, empowered, and finally after He had perfectly prepared them, sent. The prophecies were fulfilled, the message was simple. Yet man still has his need to control.

And so along the way the love and grace, mercy and kindness of God were cast aside for an angrier, more selective version. This distorted view of a dictatorial ruler who longs to destroy became the narrative to control the population. Religion was used as a tool to cause pain, to start wars, to impose great economic inequality, and sadly to oppress the very people that were meant to be set free.

This desire to control others has led to some of the greatest atrocities of history. And yet somehow, there were always those who knew He was more. They chose to believe and lived in such a way that the Light lived through them. They were willing to give up their desire for control and were instead controlled by the greatest Love ever known.

Today we still desire control. But what will our response be? Will we continue to use religion as a tool to manipulate and dominate or will we finally come home to compassion, empathy, and love? Will we go beyond in our thinking about Who our God really is and what His character is filled with?

Will we continue to make excuses for our god of Religion, or will we exercise the faith it takes to walk in love as our true God has called us?

Will we repent for the years of oppression and dissension caused in "the name of Jesus" or will we continue to look away turning a blind eye to the pain? Are we brave enough to reconcile so that a new outpouring of grace can be revived? After all we keep praying for revival, but keep living as though our pride's survival is of utmost importance.

Are we willing to relinquish control and finally obey? Who knows, maybe that's the recipe for us to all participate in the greatest love story ever told.

30 October 2015

Heartbreak

Broken Heart Grunge
Nicolas Raymond on Flickr


I'm never ready for it. EVER.

If I could turn my heart off I would. If I could find a way to not connect with and engage with others I would do it. In a heartbeat.

Because all I've ever found is one heartache after another.

I love too damn hard.

I connect to others entirely too quickly.

I don't want to anymore.

Not ever again.

But I always do.

It's me. My fatal flaw is that I always care.

No, I didn't lose a lover. 

I'm so single, other single people measure their time as singles in Aisha units.

I just dared to believe I had a friend who believed. 

But apparently I failed that friend because it's over, called to a decisive end.

And I can't even ask why. 

I defend the best way I know how to minimize hurt. If that was insufficient, I'm sorry.

I like to fix things.

I love to love.

I don't like to break people.

But I apparently did.

And now, once again, I'm heartbroken too.

21 October 2015

Found on Facebook: Church Hurt

Can I be honest and tell you I don't like this? 

I'm probably putting too much thought into it, but I've seen what "Church Hurt" does to people. This includes those who have a strong foundation in God, those who seek Him desperately, and look only to serve Him.

We are responsible for how we treat others. The Bible tells us that leaders will be judged with greater weight because of their position of authority. Leaders are called, much like husbands, to love as Christ loved the church. Sacrificially. In return, those who are following leaders as the leaders follow Christ are to submit to their authority, in a healthy way, and pray for them.

That makes sense. If someone is carrying a heavier weight, we lift them with our assistance, in this case our prayers and encouragement. Also, biblical.
However, this statement here seems to blame the victim. Don't get me wrong, I've seen it where someone is truly bewitched by the charismatic charm of some dynamic leader. But many more times I've seen those with genuine hearts, harmed by the attitudes of sensationalist Christian leaders.

There has to be accountability on all fronts. We live transparent lives of integrity loving and helping one another. Yes even with sin. Even when things are difficult. Yes even in disagreement, we bear with one another in love, we carry each other's burdens, and correct one another without condemnation. Yes, there are times for rebuke but even that is done from love, with forgiveness.

We do have to watch out for bitterness, but how about we each take care to not cause another to sin. Issues happen, we're human. But we love and we work through because He first loved us. 

Again, maybe I'm putting too much though into but I like the simplicity of, "Let us love one another."

10 August 2015

systemically

Facebook: Charles Singleton
Death is given out like candy
Here's some for you and some for you
Don't resist or you'll get some too
It's a crazy game
The system's on the hunt
Never touched drugs
We'll Photoshop in a blunt
You're no angel
You're some kind of freak
You have unseen powers
Is what some think
Bow before these commands
Meet unreasonable demands
Don't show grief
We'll make you look like a thief
While the system takes more life
And reinforces lack of worth
Yeah we'll protect your birth
But then there's a dearth
Of help along the way
We've trapped you here
We want you to fear
Don't question the system
Don't rebel
Or else
I feared for my life
Is the story I'll tell
You're nothing
You're no one
It's your own fault you lack


Welcome to the world of how it feels to be black.