extra! extra!

Image: business2community.com

Guess who's an official sob sister, newshawk? Your 1920s slang a little rusty? As of Friday I was offered a position as a news reporter with The Shorthorn, the University of Texas at Arlington's official and award-winning student publication.

Although I've enjoyed writing for many years I have never considered a career as a news reporter. But Aisha you're a journalism major, right? Yes but there was never a plan to become a reporter. After all everyone knows it's a path you pursue for the love of it, not the great pay. And trust me the pay is not the reason I accepted this job. Not at all.

I began the journey one year ago and noticed that now when I hear people say "{insert negative adjective here} media" a defensive reflex comes up in me. Don't get me wrong I don't play into the mass media pandemonium but I don't want to lump the great reporters who are upholding the standards of excellent journalism in with that crowd.

In any event my infinite curiosity, concern for communities and inability to sit still mean I'm a good candidate for this. Who knew that random combination would pay off? I have a beat to work, stories to develop and relationships to build with sources. This is the next step along the way and I'm both nervous and excited. I look forward to digging in, researching and growing.

Maybe I'll even make a difference. Looking up and ahead.

fiction

Quote: Mason Cooley

If you were to ask me how in the world I became so smart {smileys}, I would tell you it's simple. I read. I love to read. However, this was not always the case.

I did not initially like it but I followed my mother's instructions to read until my outlook changed. I didn't understand but one day it finally happened. This jaunt down memory lane is not as random as it may first appear. 

I recently finished reading "Following Polly" by KarenBergreen. I thoroughly enjoyed the book! I compared my experience of this book to the first time, long ago, when I read a Janet Evanovich, Stephanie Plum novel. That's a big compliment.

This post is not a book review, although I may present one later for grins and giggles. I'm writing rather excitedly because I realized after finishing it in less than 24 hours that I was fiction starved. Is it the greatest book ever? I don't think it was vying for that position but that's not the point.

The magic of fiction is that it takes you places you ordinarily are unable to go. It breaks you out of routine. It brings adventure to you in the safe comfort of wherever you are. I needed that. The life of a full-time student is a fun one but I have a tendency to become all broody and serious when I need to take time to enjoy the experience. Sometimes for me to enjoy the fun of my 'real' life I have to see it through the 'pseudo' life eyes of a well-developed character.

This seems silly as I type but many creatives understand it's time with other creatives that spurs greatness on. Somehow I was MIA in my own agenda. I was still reading but I hadn't read a stitch of fiction in I don't know how long.

And although I watched some good shows lately: Castle, Fullmetal Alchemnist: Brotherhood, Rin, Agents of Shield, Sherlock, Dr. WHO,  many of which are fantasy based, it's different when you watch character development rather than reading it. In any case all of this to say I'm back in the fiction zone and I'm loving it.

Oh how longingly I have missed thee and return now with youthful glee!

all the world's a stage

Florida Theater/ Devan Stuart

This is all a well thought out play. There are many scenes and acts occurring simultaneously on a grand stage. Open your eyes, see that you have to adjust and listen carefully to better play your part. Step to your mark alongside this cast and give the performance of your life!

Don't be afraid of every detractor who comes along the way. Even those on the stage with you. The ones who think they know better than the playwright/director. They aren't  listening anymore so they attempt to shame you and bring contempt but it is just a distraction.

Listen to those who have been on stage longer who know how to follow a good lead. The seasoned ones who help you to hone your craft, honor structure and guide you in discipline. They know how to go outside seeming confines without derailing the show. These make both you and the overall performance better.

Always remember and find strength in the fact the director chose you. He wants to work with you and groom you for greatness. Follow the script no matter what others say. It's an ancient play but the words are still powerful and alive.

Pay attention to the fire inside you as it resonates with the script. You've been given all you need. Get out there and give it your all; don't ever hold back!

Be assured many will find fault with your actions, timing, delivery, even your voice. But why step out on the stage in the first place? Is it really just for approval or is it because you're called to this? Are you solely looking for adoration or do you believe you have something to say and a part to play in a way that only you can portray it?

In the play of life will you try to please everyone in every crowd or will you simply trust the director, the value of the script, and the power of the fire within? You decide.

life

Today I'm tired of being poor, unemployed and judged negatively for it. I'm tired of pat answers and doubts. I spent four years in college as a young adult and I'm now almost one full year into my return.

I didn't go to college for this to be my life. I didn't 'sow' for this. I don't read the kind of things I read and work to implement them to have this life. I'm not perfect or any kind of angel. I have made major mistakes.

The biggest one? Being afraid to take risks whether in relationships or work or in stepping out to promote myself. I always think I could use a little more preparation, I could be just a bit better before I make that next move.

What's the 'opportunity' section of my life look like? I need to:

• stop being so damned cautious all the time. 
• be disciplined more so with time than money. 
• to loosen up on the inside as much as I appear to have on the outside. 
• take the freaking leap sometimes. 
• trust that I've been given what I need. Trust. 
• like myself half as much as I project that I do. 
• just go ahead and go all in and connect with MY dreams again even if that means more failure and more rejection until I'm living those dreams out and on to the next ones.
• accept me. I am pretty freaking amazing after all.

I have done many things and will continue to learn and grow and better myself. I give my all and work ridiculously hard when I do work. Even when I volunteer, I give until I feel like I can't, then I give just a little more.

I tend to learn on the fly in the midst of  hard choices. When the options are limited to sink or swim. It's then that I learn I have a powerful backstroke. Maybe it's not pretty, but it gets the job done. Life is like that, choices and last minute decisions even when you've done your best to prepare.

You know the thing is, life doesn't care. It has always been unfair and that crazy mixture of hurry up and wait. I try to play with the cards dealt. I try not to complain. Today I'm not doing so well. Today I'm tired. Today I want a break.

Although I'm frustrated I'm still grateful. And no, not because it could be worse. I'm just grateful because God is God even when I don't understand. I'm grateful for a relationship with Him. Life may not make sense. I don't have answers to the "whys" and "hows" but I have Him and that takes care of my need.


Picture credit: www.quakeroats.com

comfortable (now what?)

I did not share this scene from the script of my life just to stroll down memory lane. This is personal, somewhat embarrassing and a little uncomfortable. I share it because I know what it’s like when everything seems to be wrong. I know that vulnerable, weak place where so much seems lost. I hope this helps someone to know nothing is worth trading the comfort of the One and Only God. I didn’t pass that particular test, not at all. But I did learn about triggers, my personal points of weakness that can lead to bad decisions.

Four weeks ago I returned to the scene of all of this. It's years later and the characters are all different except the leading lady whose current situation could be seen as a place of weakness. I’m not perfect now either, but I have grown. I’ve learned there is an odd place of comfort in the midst of my greatest discomfort.  I am learning how to boast in my weaknesses, for in my weakness He is proven strong and He helps me to grow.

Right now I am moving forward and acceleration is happening in my life. Certain connections are being made and I’m acquiring new skills at an almost alarming rate to move toward my current goal. I’m launching my business for copy writing, editing and freelance journalism soon. I am also making new friends and strengthening old bonds.

Yes it’s a lot all at once and it requires a great amount of faith. After all, this is all happening on a college student’s budget. That is enough to cause a major meltdown and freak out session. But I am looking to the Comforter for help, strength, decisions and direction.

Fourteen years ago, I could have just told God, “I’m hurt and unhappy. I don’t know what to do. Please help me.” But I didn’t know how to do that. It really is that simple though to talk to Him. That’s what I hope anyone who has braved this historical document will take away.

God is Comfort in the midst of any darkness or uncertainty: loss of a relationship, loss of a job, death of a loved one, times of transition, financial instability, tough decisions for your business, family issues, etc. No matter what comes God is there not only with great love and comfort but also peace and direction.

As a young woman I was willing to compromise everything for a modicum of comfort in a moment of weakness. But now as a mature one I can confidently tell you I know Him Who is my Comfort and I rely on Him daily for every good thing.

image found at Living Healthy Together