I'm Tired.

Truth is, I'm tired.

Silence is an exercise and that membership has been paid
Awakening again.
The best plans laid have been exposed for lies, after years of hearing the cries of the mistreated
You thought my silence meant I'd been defeated, but you missed the memo
Head down, not in fear or shame but unlearning, researching, relearning and growing

You think you know it all, but your fruit is all the proof I need to know
There's been the promotion of a lie that you're now willing to die for
But this argument that you continue to present, while you vent and assure me, I need to repent is the one rooted in deceit
And the tree planted at your feet, you're using for refuge will one day refuse to shelter you

And you wonder why I don't want to spend my time with you
And you ask why I removed my presence
My soul, my essence is worth protection and until you stop with this incessant rejection of facts you will not see me back
Because truth is, I'm real tired

Untold years of this misbehavior and I'm supposed to believe you suddenly really see me through the eyes of a Savior?
Whom you swear is also mine but somehow my sins are seen as a greater crime because, well...
Let's just say your understanding of diversity is limited because your actions tell me you want assimilation and my train doesn't have time for that station
I'm going to keep rolling on to find another location where the damnation of outcasts isn't seen the final culmination for their hopeless situations 

Where extortion isn't exacted weekly to make someone feel guilty because they chose the roof over their heads or to feed their family
Where who you know or how much you give doesn't earn you a seat at the table or access to the Members Only elitist culture that does more to separate than to satiate the need for reconciliation
Where a good amount of talk is done and names are dropped, making the actions done seem somehow cheap

Let me stop before I'm called out for calling out what I've seen, what I've been
But know, I see you, I know you, and I won't be afraid of you anymore
Because truth is, I'm real tired

And I'm trained, and my faith remains strong as ever
I'm tired but I'm clever and I'm going to continue to do the work given me to do
I'm tired but I'm chosen so I won't be frozen in place by the limitations you try to corral me with

Because I'm tired, I refuse to let the next generation burn themselves out before their time
I may be tired but I'm no fool
I may be tired but the passion of generations before me is my fuel
I'm tired but I'm going to fight because the moral majority was never right

And I've been given a light and a voice
I refuse to let the weight of that choice drain and demand everything of me
I'm going to live the life given me as carefree as I can be and hope to possibly inspire others to take their stand 

I'm tired because I carried the weight of your expectations for so long I was convinced it was my burden
But I'm no beast and my back won't be broken doing the labor for your child-like, selfish entitlement
Hear what I said and know what I meant
I am who I am and for that, I won't repent
You may soon see me again, but please know my friend the shadow of who I was won't ever be seen again

Truth is, I was tired but now I've been set free
I'm no longer sacrificing myself on your altar of gentrified piety