I am not full of myself. Quite the opposite actually. I am plagued with self-doubt. I am challenged by the fear of failure. It is paralyzing. It is not good.
But the lies that I've rehearsed, rehashed and fed myself over and over again are just that, lies! They are not true. They cannot defeat me.
What is true?
I am good because I'm made in the image of God. I am loving and kind through the gift of repentance.
I am smart. God blessed me with that. It requires a lot of hard work. I may gain basic understanding quickly but without deeper investigation to take root, I will falter quickly. This means I actually have to read my textbooks and supplementary articles for practical application. When I don't read, I doubt my understanding even when I'm able to ace a test with general knowledge.
I am socially awkward. It's one of my quirks. It was recently confirmed that I am both strongly extroverted and introverted, an ambivert. I need just as much alone and quiet time to process life as I do social interaction. Still there are times I don't know how to interact with people. I get caught up in the "what will they think about me?" trap sometimes and if I hang out there it gets ugly. Then there are "life of the party" days and I work a room ensuring people are connecting and that all the wallflowers have a chance to meet new people.
I make mistakes, I say the wrong things, I hurt those who love me and am hurt by the same.
I offend when I don't mean to, I talk too much, I swear.
I have failed innumerable times and I keep trying, even though I'm afraid.
I am learning. I am a dreamer. I am a visionary.
I am a student, a journalist and public relations practitioner in training, I am a leader.
I am passionate, I love with my whole heart, I am loyal.
I am dedicated, I am persuasive, I am hard working.
I am a daughter, I am a sister, I am a woman (a beautiful one at that!).
I am a child of God.
I am simply amazing.
And so are you.