30 June 2006

Only Fools Fall in Love

Yes, it is as you suppose. It's officially never going to happen. Someone and I are going to be "just freinds". Although we'll see each other soon, it will not be the joyous occasion I thought it would be. My heart strings will soon mend, I'm sure but right now does this ever sting. I've been here before so this is nothing new, it's just that it never gets any easier to go through. Ah well, such is life.

29 June 2006

Lyrics and Life

No translation needed. I think we can all read this clearly. I love this song, whether the White Stripes or this, the Joss Stone version. Yeah, have a lovely day everyone. *sigh*


Fell In Love With a Boy


Fell in love with a boy
I fell in love once and almost completely
He's in love with the world
And sometimes these feelings can be so misleading
He turns and says, "Are you alright?"
Oh, I must be fine cause my heart's still beating
Come and kiss me by the riverside,
Sarah says it's cool, she don't consider it cheating

Oooh ooh ooh [x4]

Red hair with a curl
Mellow roll for the flavor and the eyes were peepin
Can't keep away from the boy
The two sides of my brain need to have a meeting
Can't think of anything to do
My left brain knows all of love is fleeting
He's just lookin for somethin new
I said it once before but it bears repeating

Oooh oooh ooh [x4]

Can't think of anything to do
My left brain knows all of love is fleeting
He's just lookin for somethin new
I said it once before but it bears repeating

Oooh oooh ooh [x4]

Fell in love with a boy
I fell in love once and almost completely
He's in love with the world and sometimes these feelings can be so misleading
He turns and says, "Are you alright?"
Oh, I must be fine cause my heart's still beating
Come and kiss me by the riverside
Sarah says it's cool, she don't consider it cheating, oh

Don't go telling all my
Don't go telling all my
Don't go telling all my lies on Sarah
Don't go telling all my
Don't go telling all my
Don't go telling all my lies on Sarah

Ooooh oooh oooh [x4]

Can't think of anything to do
My left brain knows all of love is fleeting
He's just looking for something new
I said it once before but it bears repeating

Oooh oooh oooh [x4]

Gonna tell you what's on my mind
I'm gonna tell you what's on my mind
Cause it bears repeating

27 June 2006

My Life in Technicolor

It's been 17 days since my grandmother took her last breath. I am... well I am not sure what I am right now. I miss her more than I can ever express with words and I'll never be able to cry enough tears. I have no regrets and I will not fish for any either, although doing something that silly is well within my character.

I have not been able to accomplish much since then although life has continued to go on and I have been able to get things done. The sun still rises and sets at standard times. I wake up, go to work, cook and clean and try my best to be a good daughter, sister (in-law), aunt, niece, cousin and friend. I have been able to keep up with my half-marathon training and guitar practice and I have been able to see positive results from both.

It's just that with all of this, I still feel so lost in a grey fog. The color is gone from my world sometimes. If there is one color that has a permanent stain on my world it is red. The color of anger, the color of love, the color is faded and flat and has no dimension anymore. For so long I felt I have lived in emotional extremes, much of my world could be placed in black, white or red, those were the colors of my existence. When I turned 28 last year however it seemed my eyes finally began to see the bright light of the spectrum clearly for the first time.

Oddly enough, the first color to come was blue, I was depressed but it was not a deep, dark lonely corner of depression, blue held hope. There was the hope of change. Hope brought yellow, a color associated with brilliance and for me the presence of God. And although at the time I was running away from it, I still felt the presence. The existence and more importantly my acknowledgement of that presence changed the white of solely existing to a white of purity, cleanliness, the ability to be ready for use. As time has continued to go on and I became a caretaker I saw the green of growth, I could grow. I had to grow, I had to change because I was needed in a new capacity. Since March of this year there has been another marked change and this is a big one for me. I believe it will have to be gold because it is a radiant color and confidence is a quality that affects not only me but those I am around. The most important quality that I have attempted to seek once again is what allowed me to see the hope of change. I think this is red, a new red. Of course I am referring to love. I appear to many as tough and hard-nosed, uncaring. But if you really know me you know that within me flows this great love. I have tried to deny it and run from it. I have been hurt by it and wanted to turn my back on it and get as far away from anything so related but alas I cannot remain "lost" forever. I think I have officially lost this battle on being lost, but I digress.

The color in my world right now, the joy that it has brought me, especially in the last six months is so hard to see right now. It's like I've had my eyes dilated with that solution. I am aware that the colors are still there, they have not gone anywhere but they are fuzzy, blurry and hard to distinguish because it's as if they are all attempting to overpower the other. Grief is, I suppose all of those colors competing for attention... I don't know. But I will not give up, I will go on, I have to. There are few things in this world that truly bring me joy, but knowing that my grandmother has finished the race, that she finished the work and has claimed the reward of a faithful servant, that brings inexplicable joy. I will continue to color my world and overcome this lurking darkness.

21 June 2006

To Mary

MySpace Pictures

Today is one of my bestestest friends special day. I am so grateful that God has placed her in my life. She is a very wise woman that loves and lives for God. Have an AWESOME day, dear friend!!!

20 June 2006

To Lauren:

MySpace Pictures

Today my adorable niece turns 2! They do grow up so fast, don't they?

19 June 2006

It's a Girl (guitar)!!




Ladies and gentleman meet:

Tessa James






This beautiful piece is a Daisy Rock Stardust Elite Venus. I have liked this guitar for well over a year now and after playing it for the first time back in December I fell in love. Daisy Rock guitars are wonderfully crafted instruments that are designed with women and young girls in mind. As a result they are smaller, lighter, easier to manage and many are just pretty.

When I bought my semi-hollow guitar, I was not sure what name to bestow upon it but this time there was no doubt. Tessa is a character from the manga/ anime series "Full Metal Panic!" She is one of my favorite characters. I am sure it is her determination and desire to do what is right that makes her stand out to me. That, and well she is a 16 year old female genius that is the captain of a submarine! Of course, she is absolutely adorable too. After watching FMP! and FMP? Fumoffu! I saw this guitar and that name popped into my head.

The surname was added recently. James is... my muse. *blush*

15 June 2006

Embrace Me

To be held tight and close to the heart of the one you love is one of the most invigorating feelings I can recall experiencing. Right now the one that I want to hold is far, far away. The CD I listen to when I go to sleep has Abrázame, a song fave from the disc Nada Es Igual by Luis Miguel. It has been a while since I've done a translation, so for your reading enjoyment: a sappy love song.


Abrázame (Embrace Me) - L&M: R. Pérez/M. Portmann


-1-
Sé mi amor
I know my love
Hazme un refugio en ti
I made a refuge in you (You are my refuge)
Llena el vacío en mí
You filled the void in me
Me haces falta desde el día en que te ví
It left me (from) the day I (first) saw you
Conjúrate con mi pasión
I swear with (by) my passion
Átame fuerte a tu corazón
Bound tight (with strength) to your heart
No me dejes nunca
Don’t ever leave me
Aunque me hunda
Although everything else fails (sinks around) me

-Coro-
Abrázame
Embrace (hold) me
Demuéstrame que eres real
Show me that you are real (true)
Que por bien o mal, jamás te perderé
For better or worse, I will never lose you
Oh oh abrázame
Oh oh embrace (hold) me
Afírmame que esta vez
Assure me that this time
Por fin llegó el amor
Finally it has arrived, love

-2-
Llegué a creer
I had come to believe
Que mi destino fue vivir así
That it was my destiny to live like this
En soledad
In solitude
Solo amando sin amar, sin saber
Only loving without one to love, without knowing
Que al mirar tus ojos de mar
That to look in your eyes, continuous like the sea
Ya nunca más yo sería igual
No longer will I be the same
Te propongo la eternidad
I offer (propse) you eternity
Ámame siempre
Love me always (forever)

-Coro-
Abrázame
Embrace (hold) me
Demuéstrame que eres real
Show me that you are real (true)
Que por bien o mal, jamás te perderé
For better or worse, I will never lose you
Oh oh abrázame
Oh oh embrace (hold) me
Afírmame que esta vez
Assure me that this time
Por fin llegó
Finally it has arrived

-3-
El amor que yo soñé que tanto esperé
The love that I have dreamed of, that I have waited for
Te nececito, abrázame...
I need you, embrace (hold) me…

-Fin-
Oh Oh abrázame
Oh oh embrace (hold) me
Afírmame que esta vez
Assure me that this time
Por fin llegó...el amor
Finally it has arrived… the love

13 June 2006

Lights pt 2

Saturday the light went out.


Earnestine Willis
September 3, 1934 - June 10, 2006


Thank you for everything, granny. I will always love you.

09 June 2006

The Wait is Finally Over!

After a LOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNGGGG four year wait, it is that time again. THE World Cup is upon us my duckies! I cannot say enough about how excited I am about this so I will not even try. According to Fox Sports (who decided to use the same title I did), here you can find a two-minute guide to the World Cup. Explore! Enjoy!


GO USA!


Group E
Ghana
Italy
Czech Republic
USA

05 June 2006

Call it what you want...

... but you cannot call it love until you no longer live in fear of what your love will bring. "True (perfect) love drives out fear" is what I believe, so if there is fear of another's response, it is not true love. That is conditional (selfishly only willing to admit feelings if and only if they are reciprocated), which is not love at all.

Just thinking out loud...

01 June 2006

Who Said?

On Monday I was able to relax and enjoy a partial day off. The joy of waking up and making pancakes from scratch... ahhh how wonderful it was. In any case, I was also able to watch an anime called Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo. Yes as the title implies it is a reworking of the Alexandre Dumas classic.

Phenomenally magnificent!

The animation is amazingly beautiful and sadly that description is not grand enough. An actual fashion designer was brought in on the drawing team. Seriously, click the link because I'll never be able to explain how cool the characters look.

The tag line of the show is "Bide your time and hold out hope." I love this admonition. Because I am adding it as my page quote I thought I would look up more quotes from the actual novel. This led me to BrainyQuote.com. All kinds of quotes can be found here so check it out and have some fun.